Improvements
by MarsyB
Summary: Roxanne really should have known that Megamind wouldn't be able to resist the opportunity to show off his gigantic brain. What a shame his intellect has to be used for death machines that are going to be reduced to so much rubble. Rated T for now, it might go up later.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Megamind, any of the characters, or any copyrights at all actually. I am not making any money, this is just for my own sanity.

* * *

The first time, it was a hair dryer.

Roxanne would never have even thought to ask. She was aware that her ineffective kidnapper was, in fact, a genius. She knew that Megamind regularly conceived, designed, and created technological marvels the likes of which most people would never have been able to dream. More than once she had, privately, of course, been impressed by the sheer amount of planning and thought that had gone into an invention which he knew ( _he had to know by this point didn't he?)_ was, more likely than not, going to be destroyed before it had a chance to finish its assigned task.

The contraptions that were not a part of his "diabolical plans", and thus were allowed to remain intact and functioning were testaments to the power of his mind. When you sat down to actually consider the amount of effort and planning that must have gone into Minion's suit or the De-Gun it was obvious that they had been thought up by someone who was not only good at what he did but sincerely enjoyed the creation process.

So, no, she had not intended to own a beauty implement devised by a supervillain.

She had stepped out of the shower that morning and called to her uninvited, but not completely unexpected, houseguest that there was coffee in the pot, to make himself at home, and that she would be out in a moment. Minion really was a sweetheart and he had announced himself the moment the water turned off. Probably to ensure that she wouldn't walk out of the bathroom without her robe, but also so that he wouldn't frighten her. He was always very accommodating about allowing her to finish whatever she was working on when he dropped in for a kidnapping. In some ways, it was very much like what she imagined having an older brother would be like.

She heard the pots and pans in the kitchen and knew that if she took too long getting ready Minion would finish cleaning up the dishes she hadn't gotten to yet and start making her breakfast. He never did like to abduct her on an empty stomach. She finished toweling off and flipped the switch on her hairdryer. Nothing. She tried a different outlet. Still nothing. She grumbled as she wrapped her robe around herself and headed from the bathroom to her bedroom.

Minion called from the kitchen, "Dangling over the alligators today, Miss Ritchie."

 _Oh, haven't done that for a while, better wear pants today; a_ nd out loud, "Thank you, Minion."

It only took her a few minutes to change, her wardrobe had a lot fewer options for pants than the dresses she favored while on the air. She paused at the full-length mirror and tried without effect to flatten her already messy hair. One of the drawbacks of the manageable short style was that it always poked up like this when left to air dry. She was glad that it was her day off. Although Megamind didn't always broadcast his and Metro Man's battles, he sometimes would hijack the airwaves if he thought his plan-du-jour was especially devious. _Wouldn't that just be perfect… stupid hairdryer._

Nevertheless, she found she couldn't hold onto her bad mood when she entered the kitchen and found that, from the look of the vast number of takeout boxes in the trash bag at his feet, Minion had cleaned out her refrigerator.

"I hope you don't mind something a little more portable this morning, Miss Ritchie, we are on a bit of a tight schedule today." The fish smiled apologetically at her and handed her a breakfast burrito with one hand and a blindfold with the other.

"Ooh, I get to be conscious today? We must not be going to the Evil Lair." She tied the blindfold on and ignored the little voice that asked her what it said about her that she didn't even consider leaving a gap to peek through.

Minion ignored her attempt at information gathering. She heard the rustle as he lifted the trash bag to his shoulder. _Of course, he couldn't just leave it for her to deal with._ She took his other arm and allowed him to lead her down the hall, into the elevator, and out of the building.

"Alright, Miss Ritchie?" Her doorman asked without any noticeable concern in his inflection. Another thing the little voice in her head took issue with.

"Yes, thank you, Carlos." She answered. Minion helped her into the car and they were off. She ate her burrito in relative silence as Minion hummed along with the radio.

The car came to a stop and Minion came around to help her out of the car. Soon she was indeed suspended in midair by cables connected to a special harness Megamind had designed to allow her to hang for long periods without the discomfort that would usually come from such a precarious position. She heard the rustle of a cape and the blindfold was removed to reveal the face of the Master of All Villainy himself.

"Well, well, well, Miss Ritchie, we meet again." He looked at her for a moment and then added. "Your hair, it looks exciting!"

She wrinkled her nose, knowing how she must look and couldn't resist grumbling, "Yeah well my hair dryer broke this morning. Stupid thing cost me a small fortune and didn't even last 3 months."

He tilted his head to the side like he always did when he was processing new information. _He looked a lot like an adorable puppy dog when he did tha- Shut UP Roxanne._ "Your hairdryer you say." he mused, and she could practically see the gears spinning in that gigantic skull of his, but then the proximity alarm sounded signaling that Metro Man was on his way and just like that he was back in supervillain mode and she was back to acting bored and unimpressed.

The plan failed, Megamind was arrested, Metro Man flew her home. Just another day in the life of a damsel. The hero never even commented on her bad hair day. That man was so wrapped up in himself she was honestly surprised that he even continued in his assigned role as the city's protector. He seemed to just do it for the attention and lately it seemed that even that was wearing thin. Had they been better friends she might have asked him about it but aside from the rescuing thing they really had no contact and nothing in common.

The rest of her day was pretty standard and by the time she lay her head down that evening she had put the entire episode of the hairdryer out of her mind, It wasn't until she woke up that she realized not everyone had done the same.

The package on her bathroom sink couldn't have been from anyone except Megamind. It was wrapped in black paper that was textured to look like leather and tied with a light blue ribbon. The card attached said simply "For my favorite victim." _More like his only victim_ , she chuckled. It was signed with this lightning bolt insignia and the initials M.M. She opened the package carefully and stared flabbergasted at the item inside.

It was barely recognizable as a hair dryer. It was thin and sleek, black with silver accents. He had thankfully decided to forgo the spikes but apparently hadn't been able to resist the lightning bolts etched into the handle. It seemed to be made of a harder type of plastic than she was used to and it was so light that she knew her arm would thank her for the reprieve. She flipped the switch and was delighted when instead of an earsplitting roar she was met with a soft whooshing sound and a current of warm but not burning air.

It was amazing, and it dried her hair in record time. She stood for a long time admiring it and then, it hit her. _Megamind doesn't have any hair! He somehow solved all the issues inherent in a piece of equipment he has little to no actual experience with… in one night… after breaking out of jail! I wonder what else he could make..._

She smiled to herself and finished getting ready for work.

* * *

A/N - This is my second fanfiction ever published and the other one was nearly a decade ago now. I never finished it and I am very aware of what kind of person that makes me. This pairing has me reading every single story that comes out and I am amazed that people are still writing this long after the movie came out. That being said, I haven't seen this particular plot before, I already have the ending planned out, and I hope that I can do justice on paper what I see in my head. If you find any mistakes please let me know. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

I still don't own Megamind, as evidenced by the fact that I am not way more famous. No money is being made either, more's the pity.

A/N - I am so excited about how well received this story has been... I kept popping up at random moments to squeal at my husband every time I got a review or favorite notification. Everyone who read this and especially my reviewers made this chapter happen much faster than it otherwise would have and so here are my shout outs to those wonderful people.

Ardina Falconhurst - Thanks so much for believing in me and my ability to actually finish something, now I am determined to prove you right!

Elf Kid2.0 - Minion lovers unite! I love your story Henchman. :-)

Oliver2016 - I am so glad you liked the thing with Carlos, I was afraid about how it would be received. I only made an account yesterday but I have had a link on my phone to your story The New Thing for quite a while and I check it for updates regularly because I desperately want to know where it is going. No pressure, just saying.

OceansGratitude - I hereby dedicate the evil plan in this chapter to you and your body of writing work. I hope that the reason for that isn't too vague and you can see why.

StarPaw007 - 007 huh? Little known (or probably cared about) fact, the B in MarsyB is for my awesome married last name... take a guess. Thanks so much for brightening up my night. :-)

Psychochiquita - Just for Roxanne is exactly what I want to read about myself so I will probably stay there for a while but eventually, Megamind's genius should be shared with the whole world.

Ok, gushing done, on to the story.

* * *

The second time it was a little more complicated.

Roxanne couldn't decide if it was her fault for wearing the dress or Megamind's fault for nearly broadcasting her to the entire city in her underwear.

When she slipped her phone into the handy little pocket of her new clearance rack find ( _because honestly... the slouchy green dress hardly contained enough fabric to be worth the $10 she paid for it, much less the $60 listed as the original price_ ), she had a second thought that perhaps she ought to just bring her purse instead. The bright red clutch she had been using lately, however, would clash horribly with her current outfit and she just didn't think it worth her time to switch for one day.

Her debit card and ID fit snugly into the left pocket. Her phone was huge, obnoxious really, and entirely impractical for someone with hands as small as hers but she didn't have much of a choice if she wanted the newest model. It barely fit and caused the fabric to droop but in her opinion that was a small price to pay to avoid looking like Sleazy, the newest addition to Santa's workforce.

As soon as she wrapped up her on-air report she heard the familiar hiss of knockout spray and glanced up at the reassuring smile of her favorite henchman as she let the darkness take her.

She woke up before they had the ropes tied. She was slouching slightly on her chair and Megamind was chatting quietly with Minion as they studied one of the many computer monitors. Minion said something Roxanne didn't catch and Megamind chuckled softly. They had their backs to her and didn't seem to know she was conscious yet, so she took the opportunity to look around. It was a game she played sometimes, figuring out what today's Evil plan was before the blue villain began his monologue.

The laser pointed at her head was an old staple as far as death traps went and she knew that, while it might be the motivation to get Metro Man to show, it was certainly not meant to be used. The little red indicator light was distinctly **not** flashing and she had the suspicion that it wasn't even turned on.

The gigantic apparatus above her seemed to be the main event today. It was a huge magnet, horseshoe shaped and painted a cartoonish red.

"Did you finally qualify for the Wile E Coyote discount at ACME then?" She mused and her captors spun around to face her with comically wide eyes.

"Wha… Miss Ritchie!" Megamind sputtered, obviously unprepared for her to be awake so quickly but he recovered admirably, pulling his Evil persona around himself like the cape he wore. He nodded to Minion and caught and held Roxanne's gaze just long enough to be sure she was watching as he pressed the extremely conspicuous button on the display panel behind him bearing the word 'Broadcasting' in large red letters.

Roxanne immediately schooled her expression to one of neutrality with a slight edge of irritation and left her hands dangling at her sides to hide from the audience the fact that she still wasn't restrained.

"Well, well, well Miss Ritchie, we meet again." Megamind practically purred his standard greeting. "Couldn't resist the… pull **...** of Evil I see." In her peripheral, she watched Minion's mouth press into a tight line as though trying to hold back a laugh.

"It isn't as though I had much of a choice Megamind." She answered in a voice that artfully straddled the line between fashionable disinterest and outright hostility. She was very proud of that voice, and even more proud of the light it sparked in eyes of the posturing reprobate before her. Almost as though he knew how long it had taken for her to perfect it and was also proud of it, of her dedication to the part she had been given.

"No need to be so... negative **...** Miss Ritchie. All I ask is that the citizens of Metrocity declare me their uncontested ruler and you will be free to go." He arched an eyebrow at her enthusiastically bouncing slightly on his toes in his overeager fashion.

 _Yes Megamind, I get the joke, pull, negative…_ His need for approval was actually quite endearing.

"I am... positive **...** that I had better things to do today than sit here and watch while your latest plan fails spectacularly." She quipped as the smile on his face brightened to a whole new level. He could take the insults in stride as long as she was playing along with his terrible puns. Minion actually clapped his robotic hands together twice, in what looked like an involuntary articulation of glee, glancing at his boss to judge his reaction. Roxanne nearly lost her composure. _He looks like his favorite show just came on._

"The only thing failing today will be Metro Man as I have finally found his weakness..." He strode a few feet to the left to stand before a large switch on the wall, pausing dramatically and smirking at her. She knew from experience that he would just keep standing there sending her not-so-subtle signals with his eyes if she didn't play her part.

"What weakness?" She asked, not bothering to sound invested, a fact which he ignored like the professional he was at this point.

"Why Miss Ritchie…" he flipped the switch and a low humming sound came from above her. "My incredible **magnetism** of course!"

His maniacal laugh was no less of a perfect specimen than it had been the first hundred times she heard it. He threw his arms wide and his head back in a triumphant pose that lasted all of 40 seconds before things began to go wrong.

The first problem was the fact that the chair that she was thankfully not tied to chose this moment to remind them all that it was, in fact, made of metal by rocketing toward the ceiling. She could make out Minion's distressed cry of "Sir!" and glanced down quickly to see that the fish was anchoring himself to a steel beam as Megamind attempted to claw his way toward the switch. The magnet fought to drag him toward it by way of the spikes sewn onto every conceivable surface of his costume.

Roxanne's glance cost her the balance she had been maintaining and she covered her face as she pitched forward toward the stone floor, but she needn't have bothered. She never reached the ground because her shoes (which were apparently of the high-quality variety where actual nails are used to connect heel to sole) flew toward the magnet as well, pulling her right along with them.

Her dress, also, was no match for the physics of the situation and decided that, given the choice between the two forces, it much preferred the law of gravity. Fortunately, Roxanne was able to thwart its intended downward trajectory and thereby narrowly avoid flashing all of Metro City her unmentionables. Unfortunately, her phone managed to free itself from its fabric prison in the process and assert its own preference for terra firma. It fell about 6 feet and shattered, quite impressively, into several pieces.

At that point, Metro Man burst through the roof, landed a crushing one-handed blow on the magnet that was evidently not his weakness after all, and caught her in mid air before gravity managed to stake its claim upon her person yet again.

As the Defender of Metro City lowered her safely to the ground, she kept her eyes firmly on her phone's remains and resolutely avoided glancing at Megamind and Minion; who were taking advantage of the confusion by sneaking off into the shadows of the warehouse they had been operating from today.

 _Those two just can't win…_ not that she would want them to, they were the bad guys after all, but that didn't mean she wanted them arrested and she would have been interested to see how many more magnet puns Megamind could have come up with. _Besides,_ she chuckled inwardly, _now he owes me a phone._

* * *

A/N - Reviews have been statistically proven to cause me to update faster, just saying.


	3. Chapter 3

I sadly do not own Megamind and am deeply upset about it, thanks for reminding me. Also, I am broke and very clearly not making any money off this story.

A/N - **On the subject of magnets:** I did a little research about electromagnets following writing the last chapter because several people, including my husband incidentally, were concerned that the science was not entirely sound. All the explanations given in what you are about to read, for why the previous plot worked in quite the way it did, are as rooted in science as I could get. I have ignored the fact that in order to produce an electromagnet strong enough to lift heavy objects, like chairs with people in them, from afar would require an immense amount of electricity that I am not sure how to give Megamind access to without him having already successfully destroyed the power grid of all of Metrocity several times over and taken his rightful place as Overlord. Additionally, the likelihood that that same electromagnet would also be able to lift a cell phone from that far away is unlikely according to what information I was able to find. That being said, I did try to explain as well as possible, within the fictional universe in question, how all of this science would work without making anyone suspend their disbelief to the point that it becomes distracting from enjoying the story. I hope it worked. Review and tell me what you think. :-)

* * *

About a week after the debacle with the giant magnet, Roxanne found herself, standing in the Evil Lair, wrapped tightly in the arms of a known, alien criminal.

Despite her thoughts following "the incident", she **had** intended to get herself a new phone as soon as possible. She had no way of being sure when she would be kidnapped next and wasn't even convinced that Megamind had noticed the destruction of her property during all the confusion that had come with his failure and subsequent escape. _Besides, it isn't as though I can just live without a phone._ As it turns out, it wasn't as difficult as she thought. Make no mistake, the first two days were hard. She lost track of the times that she frantically searched her purse before remembering; but, by day three, she had come to accept her loss.

Her employer, James, was losing his mind over the Scott family's annual Fourth of July gala. He had been forced to tap Becky (who normally only did pre-recorded pieces) for on-air duty since Roxanne had begged off for the night. The event would be hosted live and that meant a change to the entire lineup of the usual programming. Ongoing stories and specials had to be finished early or postponed to make room for the coverage and so everyone was stuck working overtime for the week.

Long story short, by the time Roxanne finished work each evening, she found she was fresh out of the time, and patience, required to make a trip to the wireless center downtown. On Thursday night, she hadn't eaten dinner or even changed clothes, just plopped face-down on her bed and fallen asleep where she landed.

It came as a sort of relief to her when, on her lunch break Friday, she hailed a taxi and instead got a dose of knockout spray and a ride to the Evil Lair.

The bag was pulled from her head and she blinked up at her captor. She wished the spray lasted a little longer, a nap would have been fantastic, but was pretty sure she was working up a tolerance to the stuff.

Megamind took a step toward her, opening his mouth, but all that came out was a dismayed squeak when he was abruptly knocked sideways, and nearly off his feet, by his partner-in-crime.

Minion came barrelling toward Roxanne and, before she could protest, had lifted her, chair and all, off the ground to pull her against his hairy, robotic, gorilla-body.

"Miss Ritchie," he bawled out, obviously distraught, "I was so worried!" Roxanne stopped struggling to escape the hug and gave into his hysterical expression of concern by slumping against him and patting him awkwardly on the shoulder of his suit.

"I'm ok, Minion, really." She assured the fish as he finally settled her back onto the ground. Her stomach rumbled loudly and Minion immediately jumped into action.

"I'll have some food for you right away Miss Ritchie, can't have you missing your lunch break after all!." Minion scampered away (as well as one could scamper in a giant mechanical suit), looking much happier now that he had something useful to do.

"I told him you were fine," Megamind grumbled as he made his way closer. He still looked a bit miffed about having his grand entrance spoiled but Roxanne noticed the sweeping look he sent her way, as though checking that she was actually alright after all. "I calibrated the electromagnet for direct, rather than alternating, current to avoid adverse effects on your human physiology."

"That didn't stop my chair and my dress from conspiring to scandalize the entire town." Roxanne scowled, and Megamind had the grace to look repentant.

"I had noticed your change in attire," he commented, acknowledging her pantsuit with another one of those sliding glances, the effects of which he absolutely did **not** need to know about, lest his neck finally give out under the strain of keeping aloft his already massive ego.

"I decided to donate it. Perhaps to someone who doesn't do quite as much hanging from things in her day-to-day life?" She pinned him with an accusatory glance that had him looking flustered for a moment.

"Pity, I rather liked that one." He said it so quietly she wasn't sure he had meant it to be audible. Then he added, "In all fairness, I doubt the electromagnet would have been powerful enough to attract your footwear had you not already been at a considerably higher altitude than in my initial calculations."

"I wouldn't have been in the air if it weren't for my chair deciding to take up flying lessons!" She countered irritably. "Besides which, now I have to buy a new phone and I just got used to the old one!"

Megamind just sort of wilted at that. "Yes, I am sorry about that…" his shoulders slumped and he scuffed the toe of his custom, baby-seal, leather boot against the concrete floor. "I forgot to include the chair in my calculations." Those big green eyes peered up at her from under his lashes, his lower lip trembling slightly.

She scoffed, lifting an eyebrow at him, "You forgot something?"

His pretense of remorse fell away so quickly, she was amazed that it didn't make a sound.

"I understand your confusion, Miss Ritchie. However, an unfortunate byproduct of my immense cognitive faculties is that the minor details tend to get lost in the grandiosity of my masterful plans!" He puffed his chest out and cranked his smirk up a few more notches. "Which brings me to the rationale for your visit to our humble abode this afternoon. I, Megamind, Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of All Villainy, have decided to engineer, for you, a new portable communication device!" He swept dramatically into a bow and then rose, holding out, with both hands, a black box and striking a pose of affected modesty worthy of someone receiving the Nobel Prize.

She lifted an eyebrow at him and mentally began counting. She got to six before he smacked the palm of his left hand against his forehead.

"Tied up, right." He muttered as he rounded the chair to free her hands. Roxanne rolled her eyes at the oversight.

"So, what's the plan today? Check if Metro Man has a crippling peanut allergy?" She quizzed him conversationally as he re-entered her line of sight.

"Plan?" He seemed honestly confused at her question.

"Yeah, you know, to defeat your nemesis and take your rightful place as Ruler of Metrocity!" His eyes widened at what, she thought, was a pretty fair imitation of his Supervillain voice.

"Oh, there isn't a plan today." He stated nonchalantly after a moment. "And you of all people know that I already ruled out any legume-based hypersensitivity with the near-success of the Condiment Cannon last October."

"Sure…" she nodded conspiratorially, "no plan at all. Just decided to take the day off I suppose."

"No really, there isn't a plan." He looked confused that she wasn't following him.

"Oh come on… I'll be a good captive and play along with the big reveal this time," She promised. "No telling Metro Man before you can get in some solid banter."

He was becoming visibly frustrated as Minion entered carrying a tray laden with sandwiches and lemonade. He rounded on his friend, "Minion, will you please explain to Miss Ritchie that I am not being deceptive when I assure her that there is no Evil Plan scheduled for today!"

"Oh, he's telling the truth, Miss Ritchie, we don't quite have the Mong-" Megamind cleared his throat and Minion backpedaled quickly, "the... Um… next plan ready yet."

"There, see?," Megamind turned back to her "The sole purpose of today was to present you with this!" He gestured with the box and she took it this time if only to stop him shoving it toward her again.

She opened the box slowly, purposely drawing it out while taking perverse satisfaction from his obvious impatience. He tapped his foot and shifted from side to side as he watched her remove the lid to look down at the device inside.

There were two small objects nestled in the black foam. One was a thin half circle of that same hard plastic her hairdryer was made of, the other was the size of a matchbox; both were the same royal blue chrome. She picked up the smaller item first.

"Earpiece." Megamind interjected, "it doesn't have a speaker, it uses bone conduction to transmit the sound vibrations directly to your eardrum. You will still be able to hear what is going on around you and no one can listen in to your conversation." Roxanne slipped the circle behind her ear, looking up at him in surprise.

"It fits me perfectly!" She caught the unguarded bashful look on Megamind's face before he rearranged it into a smirk again. It suddenly occurred to her that there was, quite likely, a space in Megamind's no doubt photographic, memory that was labeled with the exact size and shape of her ears. She blushed a little and resolutely decided not to pursue that thought further.

"Well, of course, Miss Ritchie." Megamind rumbled, pleased with her reaction. "But that is just an accessory, you haven't even seen the main attraction yet." He waved his hand at the container in her hands and she removed the other gadget from it and held it up curiously.

"It this a phone?" She asked disbelievingly, turning the small contraption over to view it from multiple angles. It did seem to be glass on one side but it was so tiny. Was that supposed to be a screen? She glanced at him in confusion and held it out for him to take.

"Oh Miss Ritchie, It is so much more than a phone!" He assured her, pressing his thumb onto the glass which lit up at the pressure. _So it is a screen then. How am I supposed to read anything on that?_ Roxanne didn't want to seem ungrateful but a phone that miniature hardly seemed practical.

"Not only can it make calls and send messages of text; this magnificent creation has full web capability, biometric security features, and several useful programs already pre-installed."

She pressed her lips together uncomfortably and he shot her a puzzled look. "That sounds really great Megamind, but… how am I supposed to read anything on a screen that… compact?"

Minion, who was dragging over a side table over on which to put Roxanne's lunch, snorted. Megamind's smile faltered a little.

"Well, of course, you don't use it while it is this size…" he looked offended that she would suggest such a thing. He pinched the top left and bottom right corners gently between his long fingers and pulled. Roxanne's eyes went wide as the screen seemed to stretch. Megamind kept pulling until his long arms couldn't go any further and it looked like he was holding a flat-screen television. "You can stretch or compress the display to a range of different sizes depending on your current needs and the resolution will adjust automatically to ensure the best quality image." Roxanne stared at him flabbergasted as he demonstrated this concept several times.

"But won't the screen break?" She managed to force out as she continued to gape at his invention.

Megamind took hold of both sides of the, now tablet sized, implement and twisted it as though wringing out a towel. Then he folded the whole thing in half and then half again. The material flexed and folded as though it were made of paper and, when he unfolded it, became once again glasslike and rigid.

"Oh my goodness, Megamind!" Roxanne cried, jumping to her feet and very nearly toppling over, as she had forgotten that her feet were still tied. Megamind took a startled step backward as she regained her balance. "That is amazing!"

"Thank you, Miss Ritchie." He smiled hesitantly at her enthusiasm. "It is made of vitrum flexile, a flexible glass-like material that was the stuff of legends in the Roman Empire, but which I have managed to find several practical uses for."

"I'll say!" Roxanne was having trouble expressing just how amazing she found his creation and he seemed a bit ruffled by the attention so she settled for expressing her admiration in a way he would be better suited to handle, namely... questions. "So you said there were programs on here? Like apps?"

He looked at her puzzled for a moment as he dissected the terminology. "Oh, a slang term for applications! Yes, I have included a few functions which you might find convenient." He handed her back the phone and, once she had resized it a few times in childlike wonder, proceeded to show her how to navigate its features. He stood just behind her chair and pointed out several icons, giving her a brief overview of each one.

He had installed recording and editing software that far surpassed the equipment at the station and, according to him, the memory of this apparatus was nearly unlimited as everything was saved into a private cloud-based server that not even he had access to. All of her contacts and previous apps had been imported, _I probably don't want to know how he did that_ , and her favorite music program had even been upgraded to the premium, ad-free version.

There was an app that would allow her to summon a brainbot if anything in her apartment needed fixing "or you could send it on errands" Megamind suggested. "I'll have one come over tomorrow sometime to set up connections between your phone and the electronics incorporated in your domicile. That should allow you to remotely control your lights, door locks, and sound system."

"Can one brainbot do all that?" She mused and he was quick to reassure her.

"Oh certainly! Of course, it won't be as quick as if I did it myself, but I can always take over their programming manually from here if they run into any trouble."

"If it would be easier, you could always just come do it yourself." She offered, as her eyes landed on a red icon with the word panic written on it. Just as she reached for it, though, Megamind bellowed "WAIT!" and snatched the device back out of her hands.

"I would really rather you didn't press that right now, Miss Ritchie. It causes your device to emit a substantial electrical pulse at the top of the casing and simultaneously emits a high-frequency sound wave which, although indistinguishable to human ears, should summon Metro Man to your location." He explained hurriedly, only handing the phone back when she nodded slowly.

 _He made me a taser that calls for help?_ She asked the only question she had left. "Why this color? Your usual shade of blue is much lighter."

Minion piped up immediately, "That's because Sir made it to match your…"

"Minion!" Megamind shouted, cutting off the rest of his henchman's sentence. "No giving away trade secrets to the nosy reporter. It is a perfectly fine shade of a very popular primary color and requires no further information. If that is all, Miss Ritchie, I do have other matters to attend to today. Evil doesn't plan itself after all." His bluster didn't quite cover the fact that he was definitely blushing, his ears and cheeks turning a light purple.

"Megamind, I don't know what to say. This is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever given me. Thank you so very much!"

"You are quite welcome, Miss Ritchie." He seemed to grow even pinker in the wake of her praise.

"But… I have actually noticed something that seems to be missing…"

Megamind did a double-take and his brow furrowed. She could see him racking his brain to find what his omission could have possibly been. It only took a second for him to cock his head to the left and ask, "What?"

"You haven't given me your phone number." He blinked a few times as though processing her statement. She nearly giggled at the gobsmacked expression on his face.

"I don't actually have a cellular telephone. I have… other ways of communicating." She let her disappointment show on her face and he rushed to add, "But! There is another program that I made for your phone… I included it on the prototype but it seemed… counterintuitive? To put it on the finished product." He took the phone from her again and began pressing buttons quickly. She caught a few lines of code but couldn't keep up with it. A few moments later he handed her back her new toy and showed her the simple black 'M' now situated off to the right side of the home screen, far away from the cluster of other icons as though it wasn't part of the rest of the phone.

She pressed it and a black screen popped up with a text box, a calendar icon and a blue button labeled 'EK'.

"The text box sends messages to my communication device as well as Minion's. You can change the recipient via the drop down menu. The calendar allows you to submit important dates for my consideration as "plot-free" times. Of course, I can't always grant those and I would appreciate as much advance notice as possible." He gave her a stern look. She held back another laugh and nodded seriously.

"And the button? What does 'EK' stand for?" She glanced up and saw that he wasn't looking at her. He was glaring defensively at the floor.

"That's why I didn't put the program on your device. That feature was to allow you to request an 'Emergency Kidnapping' in case you needed a way out of a dangerous predicament or an uncomfortable social obligation. Obviously, that was made superfluous by the inclusion of your current panic feature. In any case, the other two functions are still somewhat useful if you should have any issues with the device." He looked distinctly uncomfortable with this line of conversation so she let him off the hook.

"Well thank you again Megamind, it is wonderful."

"No problem at all, Miss Ritchie." He gave her a small, sincere smile and left the room. Roxanne ate her sandwich and drank her lemonade and then asked Minion if he would mind dropping her off at her apartment rather than back at work. _They don't need to know how long this kidnapping took._

When the spray wore off, she grabbed the black box from her bedside table and put in her earpiece, determined to play with some of her phone's new features. She glanced down at the oddly darker blue material again and wondered… _made it to match my what?_ She couldn't think of a single item of clothing she owned that was this particular shade of blue. She shrugged and headed for the kitchen, intent on making a cup of tea, when she found her reflection in the full-length mirror on the wall by her bedroom door. The earpiece stood out against her skin and… _oh..._

 _Oh!_

Apparently, in Megamind's, almost certainly photographic, memory there was also a space that contained a very specific shade of dark, royal, blue labeled, 'Roxanne's Eyes'.

A/N - I had this whole story written out and in my head and then I decided that while that would be fun it wasn't what I wanted anymore, so far I have enough extra trimmings to fill two separate one-shots. Maybe I will get around to that at some point but I am afraid that if I work on anything else I will neglect this story. I know this one took longer to upload but it is about twice as long as the other two chapters so hopefully, that makes up for it. I know it is rather dialogue heavy but I like listening to Megamind talk, even if it is only in my own head.

A few new reviewers who need shout-outs and previous (but no less appreciated) reviewers who need answers...

Oliver2016 - In my head, it was just an oversight due to Megamind and Minion being distracted by something with the machine but I do love the idea of a Minion who purposely does little things like that when his boss isn't paying enough attention.

joanhello - comic genius huh? I like that, I might have t-shirts printed. I really like the thesaurus feature for this story, it just makes sense to me that Megamind would use bigger words than are strictly required.

CrystalIce AngelBlossom - Your excitement has been noted and I am glad to keep feeding it. :-)

SisterofTurin - Really? Your favorite? I am torn between squealing with glee and asking if you have read literally anything by setepenre-set because seriously, that is some fantastic fiction. But I have decided to just accept the compliment. Thank you very much. Also, I decided that you are right about Metro Man and I intend to fix that, hopefully, next chapter if it doesn't decide to morph on me like this one did.

Ardina Falconhurst - I decided that you were right phone + magnet (along with my husband) so I added in the flimsy explanation that the magnet wouldn't have been strong enough to pick up something that small from so far away and decided that the length of Roxanne's levitating body was enough to cause her shoes to be attracted while still allowing for the phone to make it's way to the ground. You are probably right though, so there's that.


	4. Chapter 4

On Independence Day, Roxanne danced with a man from beyond the stars... and there were fireworks.

It wasn't that she wanted to go to the gala, because she absolutely did not. Standing around in pinchy shoes, smiling politely, and making small talk until her head, face, and arches were sore was not her idea of a fun night. Wayne, however, had asked her to be his plus one and she knew that he would feel awkward without someone to keep away the mass of fan-girls who followed him around as though they thought he might hold an impromptu audition for a new shadow.

She had covered the yearly event before but she had never been an invited guest. She always tried to maintain a professional distance from the city's resident superhero outside of rescue situations. She did not need the rumor mill to start chugging along about "Hero Worship" and "Savior Syndrome". The fan-girls would not like that one bit.

She was honestly surprised that there hadn't already been a larger public reaction to her constant exclusive kidnappings and subsequent rescues. The publicity had done wonders for her career which, to be fair, had already been on the rise due to the fact that she was damn good at her job thank you very much! But she privately wondered how long it would be before people began to stop taking the abductions at face value and started exploring alternative theories about her relationship with the defender. If there was one thing she had learned from being a reporter, it was that people were seldom satisfied with mere facts for very long.

She picked her outfit, all too aware of the many extremely fashionable (and extremely rich) people who would be mentally picking it apart all night, deciding on a bright red dress that she seldom wore. From her past experience with the Scott family gala, the place could use a little more color. Make no mistake, this was a celebration of the birth of their nation and the colors of the American flag would be on display. Some colors, however, would be less prominent than others and some specific shades would, of course, be excluded altogether.

Carlos buzzed her that the limo Wayne had promised to send was here. She checked her lipstick in the mirror on her way out the door and adjusted her skirt, which was just a few inches too short for her taste. The lady at the boutique where she purchased it had assured her that it was the height of fashion at the moment and Roxanne couldn't be bothered to care about such things. _At least I don't have to worry about dangling over anything tonight_ she chuckled to herself as the driver helped her into the car.

Megamind may love to theme his plots around holidays but he never did much on the 4th of July. A few pranks or small acts of vandalism here and there, but never anything really destructive. Roxanne had asked him about that last year. He had answered that anything too dastardly would disrupt the patriotic occasion.

"I would think you didn't really approve of the current system of government," She had countered, smirking at the look on his face as he realized he had fallen into her trap. "Seeing as you plan to overthrow it. After your defeat of Metro Man of course."

He had sputtered for a moment, his eyes whipping back and forth quickly as he searched for a way out of the hole he had helped dig. She saw the moment he found the answer and his panicked look gave way to one of maddening superiority. "Well Miss Ritchie, **obviously** it doesn't matter what the mindless drones are patriotic  about, simply that they are. This holiday, and others like it, provide great practice for the fealty they will be required to show everyday once I become Overlord of Metrocity!"

She smiled to herself at the remembrance. Great practice for fealty huh? She had a cousin who might agree with him on a point or two. Even so, she was pretty sure a big reason for his summer ceasefire was so that he wouldn't have to miss the fireworks.

* * *

When the limo stopped she reached for the door handle and had to pull her hand back when the driver opened it and offered his assistance. She stood for a moment taking in the site of the Scott mansion which never ceased to amaze her with it's size. _Hard to believe only two people live there_ she mused. Speaking of which, she heard a familiar voice call out "Roxanne!" and the youngest member of the Scott family glided down the steps to offer her his arm. She glanced over his shoulder and, sure enough, there were three young women looking much less excited about her arrival.

"Thanks for coming tonight, I really hate going to these things alone." He bent his head down to whisper conspiratorially "They always move in packs.. like lions." She had an extremely vivid mental image of a gigantic white gazelle wearing a cape and Wayne's signature hairstyle and her whole body contracted with held-in laughter.

Wayne cranked up that megawatt smile and looked her over. Not in a creepy way, just appraisingly. "That's a nice dress, you are certainly going to stand out." He said it in a way that suggested he didn't see anything wrong with that and she smiled back at him, glad he wasn't going to be too embarrassed to be seen with her.

"Not like you," She said gesturing sweepingly over his apparel, "You are going to fit right in. I don't know if anyone will even be able to pick you out of the crowd." Wayne was wearing the same thing he wore every year, a white tuxedo with a gold tie, vest, and pocket square. She knew that his mother was behind that, like everything else about this gala. _Oh well, anything is better than that costume of his. The man has grommets outlining his abs for goodness sake!_ She chuckled to herself again and he gave her a confused little look. She shook her head. "Nothing… shall we?" She took his arm and they walked up the stairs and into the mansion, the lionesses following close behind.

She glanced around the ballroom and sighed quietly. Everything was beautiful. Crisp white tablecloths, a delicate cut-crystal vase on each table containing a single red rose, and gold plates and cutlery mimicking the chandeliers depending from the ceiling twelve feet above. Waiters in black pants, bow ties, and white suit jackets held gleaming golden platters of hors d'oeuvres aloft.

The people around the tables and standing in small clusters around the gigantic marble dance floor were just as impeccable. The men wore three piece suits. (Black, of course, no one would think of upstaging Wayne Scott) The women were tastefully elegant in their dresses, all of fashionably similar cuts and styles. Oh, and the colors! Ebony and raven and midnight and onyx!

Then there was the Widow Scott herself in her ivory suit-skirt, her snowy hair piled artfully, her golden heels clicking softly as she floated between guests. Lady Scott's eyes strayed to Roxanne and then away again, flawlessly bereft of any indication of distaste, and yet Roxanne still managed to feel as though she had been found insufficient in some crucial way. She glanced up at Wayne and he offered her a shrug and a small chagrined smile. _He did tell me I was going to stand out._

As they approached the head table, set up several feet away from the others as though to remind everyone that there were important people sitting there, she squinted at the vase with it's single rose. _I bet it isn't there this year, not like anyone even notices it, bound to just do away with the charade sooner or later..._

But there it was as always, tied onto the stem of the flower, partially hidden by the dark green leaves. A ribbon, a dark denim color, more grey than anything, a token nod to the misbegotten hue so often snubbed in this town. She sighed again softly. It was all so perfect… and so cold.

* * *

Dinner had been lovely and delicious, she had, however, marveled at how small the portions were. She would definitely need to hit her favorite taco cart on the way home. _Ooh, or maybe that sushi place on 9th that does late night takeout._

Wayne had waltzed with her a few times and he turned out to be an one of the better dance partners of her life. Undoubtedly he had taken lessons in his younger years. They got a few sidelong glances but his hands stayed right where they were supposed to and he didn't step on her toes. Of course, when you don't have to technically touch the ground she supposed it was easier to be graceful.

At nine, Lady Scott waved her immaculately manicured hand and the band quieted.

"Thank you all so much for joining us. If you would like to retire to the terrace, we have arranged a charming display of fireworks to celebrate this great nation." She spoke all of this in a tone of sugary detachment that seemed to subvert the sentiment behind her words, but Roxanne seemed to be the only one who noticed given the polite round of applause as people headed for the doors.

Wayne escorted her out and Roxanne, who had honestly forgotten what exactly they were supposed to be celebrating tonight, felt a surge of bittersweet excitement at the prospect of the night's entertainment. As the inaugural shot rang out and the streak of fire raced into the starry night she mentally clamped down on her racing heart. Reminding herself as that first shower of bright golden stars rained down above her head that these were not the kind of fireworks she was used to.

They were, like everything else here, exquisitely clinical. She had seen this show before and it was always the same. The white and gold sparks and runners, the slow build, culminating in a giant M. Metroman's logo slung across the night sky as a gratuitous reminder that, no matter the occasion, Metro Man was what they were really celebrating. The foreknown ostentatious display left her yearning for the bright rainbow of home, where this night was celebrated with a myriad of colors so varied that it left you dizzy. She felt her eyes grow wet with the memory of cheering herself hoarse in appreciation, even as the practiced oohs and ahhs chorused around her.

She blinked back the tears and glanced at Wayne from the corner of her eye. He looked bored. A volley of three shots brought her attention back to the sky just in time to notice that they seemed to have just a little too much copper chloride in them. She squinted at the next blast. _Is it just my imagination or was that a little bit…_ She looked at Wayne again but he didn't seem to have noticed. _Oh, stop it Roxanne. Lady Scott would never allow it. There!_ She watched with growing exhilaration as the eruptions became steadily more cerulean. A shot or two of cornflower, lapis, a shower of cobalt, and an indigo group of sparks that hung in midair for a moment before spiralling away from each other. (Those were her personal favorite. Usually called hornets or something but she had maintained since childhood that they looked more like scurrying mice.)

The other watchers were becoming restless now, soft chatter starting up as those assembled tried to determine how to respond to the obvious mistake. She chanced another glance and found that Wayne looked interested for the first time tonight. He was staring at the show as though he couldn't wait to see what happened next. Roxanne caught a glimpse of Lady Scott whispering fiercely to what must have been a staff member. _She can't do anything about it though._ Sure enough she straightened and stood resolutely, gazing grimly up at the presentation unfolding against her will.

The bursts were reaching a fever pitch now, leading up to the grand finale, and she could practically feel the relief coming off the crowd. Soon the familiar symbol of their beloved hero would grace the sky and they could put all of this unpleasantness behind them. Roxanne waited, straining forward on her tiptoes, a look of wonder on her face. She could feel Wayne beside her doing the same. An artillery of shots split the wary silence of the onlookers and as the pinpoints of light rocketed higher than all the previous bursts, Roxanne found herself holding her breath.

The finale didn't bang... it detonated. An explosion of light splashed across the darkness as all the shells exploded at once, branding the heavens. It was an M alright, but it wasn't Metro Man's. The giant letter was sharply angular, flanked with curving bolts of jagged lightning, and a brilliant electric blue. _YES!_ Roxanne threw her hand over her mouth to hold back the cry as she rocked back onto her heels.

The silence stretched as the image slowly dissolved from the sky and faded from the inside of the audience's eyelids. Then… "AWESOME!" Wayne flew up a few feet and turned a flip in midair. "Way to go!" He looked from side to side, waiting, apparently, for Megamind to appear. When a minute went by with no explosion or disembodied rock music forthcoming, he floated back to the ground looking confused and slightly disappointed.

"I guess we aren't doing the whole… thing tonight?" he petitioned her and she shrugged. "I guess not." _But you can guarantee he sat back and watched all of that_. Suddenly Roxanne wished she were somewhere else, watching all of this happen and laughing her head off like she was sure Megamind was right now, even if she had to be tied to a chair.

Wayne finally dared to look at his mother and then immediately at the floor. Lady Scott was none too thrilled with his outburst. Roxanne could see the secretive smile still on his face though and had a strange thought. Maybe Wayne was bored too, in this quiet, clean, white and gold world. He certainly seemed to enjoy Megamind's prank. Maybe part of him saw the pageantry of Metro Man for the spectacle it was, a needed spectacle perhaps but no less ridiculous in its necessity.

"Uh oh, looks like someone's in trouble," she giggled, elbowing him in the ribs gently (so as not to break her arm) "How long do you think you'll be grounded for?"

"Very funny Roxie." He grinned at her and she wrinkled her nose in distaste at the nickname, assuring his near exclusive use of it from now on. "That was pretty cool though."

"Yeah... yeah it was." She answered looking back up at the sky with a smile.

* * *

Later that night, after she had eaten her fill of unagi and spicy tuna and right before she crawled into bed, she reflected on the best Fourth of July she could remember since leaving home. She smiled to herself and pulled out her new phone. Pressing her finger to the little black M icon, which she had moved to the very center of the screen, she opened the text box and typed a single sentence. She waited a few moments after sending it in case of a reply, and when one didn't come she turned off the screen and snuggled into her pillow. _He's probably already sleeping_ she mused as she dropped off.

* * *

Lying in his darkened bedroom, Megamind stared down at his wrist for a long time, watching the letters crawl repeatedly across his communication device, which was definitely not a watch. A single sentence… "Happy Fourth of July Megamind"... and he smiled.

* * *

A/N - I know this took me forever to post and it isn't the Fourth anymore but I have several excuses ready.

1\. I read Stephen King's It every year on the 4th and the two stories just don't really go together well.

2\. There is a lot less Megamind in this chapter and I knew it was going to be this way so it was hard to get motivated to write it. I needed to fix the Roxanne and Wayne relationship to the point of at least friendship to stay in character and I needed to establish the timeline of this story once and for all since I have been avoiding that. More on that below.

3\. I was procrastinating.

A note on the timeline: This is before the events of the movie, I don't know if I am going to even go into those events because that would require writing Hal (eww) and going into the whole thing with Music Man, the dreaded rain scene, Bernard (who I just can't see the appeal of at all!), and somehow coming to terms with the fact that Megamind had to at least be a little bit more evil than I am comfortable with to be so happy about straight up murdering a dude. (either that or he doesn't really understand death as a concept)If I go into those events it will need to be in a far enough away future to enable Roxanne to become properly bored and jaded and Wayne to realize his boredom. There, just so you know how my brain works.

Also, I decided that Mr. Scott is dead, it is just easier since he isn't much of a character anyway.

Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed, I really love that some of you are doing so on every chapter. I have gotten so many reviews from the authors of my favorite stories and honestly I squealed like a twelve year old girl every time. You are all wonderful. I hope you enjoy and I will try to get the next one out faster although as of yet I have no idea what to do with this story anymore. Suggestions welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

Megamind awoke immediately and silently at seven in the morning like he always did; a consequence of his years in hiding while on the run from the authorities in his youth. There had been a need to go undetected then, and so he had trained himself to awaken without need of an alarm clock. He slipped his feet into his bat slippers to keep them from freezing on the lair's stone floor on his way to the kitchen. Coffee cup and chocolate-iced Bavarian cream-filled donut in hand he made his way into the workshop and sunk into his comfortable high backed chair. He took a deep breath and smiled to himself. He loved these quiet, peaceful Sunday mornings when he had the Lair all to himself.

Megamind had heard about the concept of a day of rest from the prison chaplain, a cheerful friendly man whom he visited often during his short stays in the Metrocity Prison for the Criminally Gifted, and the idea had seemed logical to him. He was aware that his frenetic pace was not sustainable long term and had noticed the effect that constantly attempting to keep up with him had on Minion. Therefore, he had instituted a Day Off rule very early on in his dastardly career.

The rule didn't keep him from waking up early (and nothing so far had been able to block out the constant barrage of project ideas his magnificent brain insisted on throwing at him); but it did allow him the freedom to slow down and breath rather than focusing constantly on "doing something productive". So Minion and the brainbots slept in and he allowed his mind to wander without any set direction or goal. It was actually nice to let go this way and he found that some of his best work and ideas came from these weekly rest sessions rather than from the times he drove himself mercilessly.

He leaned back and allowed his eyes to drift around the room while his thoughts flowed. The workshop was easily the brightest and most lived in area in the Lair. The gigantic two story windows behind him allowed for the optimal level of natural light by which to work. The shelves to his left were cluttered with what to anyone else's eyes would look like a mess of circuit boards, components, and chunks of scrap metal. Megamind of course knew the function of all the items and could find each without looking.

On the wall to his right was a wall-mounted yarn organizer similar to those used by members of the knitting community. Metal bins, mounted in two rows of four, each with a small hole that allowed the contents to be pulled out in a single strand without tangling. The top row was populated by three different gauges of wire and a large ball of red string. The string was used for the idea cloud which hung above his desk taking up most of the room. An impressive number of paper scraps bearing notes, equations, and doodles depended from the ceiling and swayed slightly with every draft that wove its way through the large open space.

The string that held the scraps aloft was mainly red as that was the color Megamind used to denote the ideas which he intended to use for his Evil Plans; but the bottom row of metal bins contained other balls of colored string, each coded to a specific purpose. Green was the color he used to designate projects he was working on for Minion. Upgrades and enhancements for the brainbots were indicated by orange. Yellow string signified miscellaneous projects and ideas. The final bin contained blue string which was… complicated.

Blue had originally, of course, been the color of string that he used to mark his personal projects. Clever improvements to the D-Gun or ideas for new devices that didn't qualify as strictly Evil per se. The current system had worked well for him for many years now but, as of late, there had been a few... snags. First, Miss Ritchie's hair dryer had broken. He didn't really have a color code for that type of project and he had at first tried to design his new version with a more standard blueprint method; but the ideas didn't flow as well with such a flat medium. He eventually had reasoned that, since she hadn't actually asked him to make her a new device, it could still be considered a personal project. This was relieving since he wouldn't have to find the time to devise a new coding method, which would completely ruin the bin system and the entire feel of the workshop.

Then her communication device had been destroyed in that unfortunate incident which he couldn't have possibly predicted and which was clearly due entirely to a defect in the magnet itself. During the course of creating the replacement device he had apparently opened up the floodgates, so to speak, and now he found himself frequently stopping what he was doing to reach for the blue string before the ideas vanished from his brain.

New programs for her communication device, a clip on microphone with increased sound quality and noise cancelling effects. Ever present in the back of his mind was the look she had given him while he was explaining the features of his gift to her. She had seemed genuinely interested in what he was saying. That expression had made her look even more beautiful (something he had previously thought to be impossible) and since then he had been unable to stop the ideas from coming... for some reason.

He forced his thoughts away from that subject. Today might not be about productivity but it was certainly not about driving himself insane either which could be the only result of that line of thinking. His thoughts strayed instead to yesterday's Evil Plan.

Operation Fireworks had been a huge success. It was not a stunt he intended to repeat but there wouldn't be any need. For years to come the guests of the Scott gala would be waiting with bated breath, terrified that he would suddenly spring out from the shadows to menace them. Mrs. Scott's obvious fury had been the diabolical icing on the proverbial cake of Evil.

'Yes, a huge success' he mused with a smirk.

Although he had nearly called the whole thing off when the cloaked brainbot who was recording the event had zoomed in on Metro Man only to reveal Miss Ritchie standing on the balcony as well. His heart had done a slightly painful, pinchy, flipping type motion when he saw her standing next to his nemesis. The dress she had been wearing was very… red and the fact that it was so... red had of course made it very difficult for him to focus on the reaction that his plan was eliciting because of just how… red it was.

Thusly trapped by the natural psychological response to the color of her garment, he had been unable to avoid watching her reaction as well which had, quite understandably, prompted his analytic brain to wonder why she was there at all. The theories began to spin themselves out before him; her every action serving to revise or refute each one in real time.

She could be there on assignment from the news station but she usually reported from outside the mansion and he could see no camera crew. Her body language implied a disconnect between herself and the crowd around her, so presumably she had not attended with a friend. Miss Ritchie didn't seem the type to run in the same circles as the Widow Scott and her simpering brood ( a fact which he counted entirely to her credit) and therefore it was not likely that she had been included on the basis of social obligation.

She had turned her head to look at Metro Man and the thought had hit him like the aforementioned White-Clad Wonder. Could she be there with Metro Man… as his date? Megamind had never noticed a more than professional attachment between the two but he might not have been looking closely enough. After all, wasn't the hero the embodiment of all the things women were said to want in a partner? With his muscular form, perfect hair, and obnoxiously bright smile? Not to mention all that… heroism everyone seemed to love so much.

Megamind's stomach turned at the thought of Miss Ritchie settling for that goody-two-shoes, glorified Elvis impersonator in the audacious three-piece suit. Settling is obviously what it would be, because Miss Ritchie could do so much better than that flying fool. He couldn't think of anyone off the top of his head that she could do so much better with, but it was certainly possible. He was just distracted because of the Evil Plan and the whole… red… thing.

As the show had started he had watched the faces of the assembled throng morph from confusion to apprehension, all except for two. Metro Man's expression was amused, almost hopeful? It was nothing, however, compared to the look on Miss Ritchie's face. She seemed ready to burst with excitement. Even from the brainbot's position about forty feet away, Megamind could see that Miss Ritchie's whole body was tensed as she watched the bursts of light above her head. Her eyes were wide and she seemed to be holding back a smile.

She glanced at Metro Man again and Megamind winced, remembering suddenly that media outlets generally portrayed fireworks as romantic. Perhaps he shouldn't have… but then she looked up at Mrs. Scott for a long moment and actually smirked and Megamind was forced to reevaluate his theory yet again. Could Miss Ritchie merely be looking at the others for the same reason he was? To gauge their reactions? After all, she was a reporter so her instinct would be to collect and analyse data about any newsworthy situation. Megamind unconsciously straightened in his chair. Any situation was immediately newsworthy by default when he was involved.

Miss Ritchie turned her attention back toward the sky. Her eyes followed every shot, her hands clenched together in front of her chest in anticipation and when the finale sounded she put her hand to her mouth and swayed backward even as Metro Man took to the sky.

Megamind abruptly cut the feed and ordered the brainbot to return home before it was discovered. He had whooped and crowed over the victory for quite some time, strutting around the lair as Minion kept up a steady stream of congratulatory remarks. Eventually, however, he had grown tired of preening and decided to quit while he was ahead.

He had been about to doze off when his communicator had chimed to signal Miss Ritchie's message and he found himself unable to do more than stare at it, puzzled, for quite some time. By the time it occurred to him to respond the opportunity had passed and he decided it would be less awkward to stay silent. After all, what could he have said to her that wouldn't have seemed creepy, or pathetic, or…

Minion walked into the workroom to tell Megamind that lunch was ready causing the villain to jump not at all guiltily.

"I'll be right there Minion, I am just very, very, extremely busy at the moment with plans. Evil Plans! So much Evil!" He fumbled for a scrap of paper and a pen as Minion nodded and trotted back out of the room, rolling his eyes once his back was turned.

Megamind drew his logo on the scrap of paper, adding lines to simulate the fiery trails that had created it in last night's display. He scribbled yesterday's date on the bottom and opened the lower right-hand drawer of his desk.

The drawer was filled with similar scraps of paper complete with doodles and dates. It was the drawer Minion had dubbed the Near Success File despite Megamind's insistence that there were at least a dozen instances that could be called actual successes within its depths; Roxanne's latest gadgets being among the ranks of those proud few.

Megamind made a point to find at least one aspect of every plan which could be added to this file. For some plans this was easy and only required that he add a few critical remarks to the margins of the actual project blueprint. Other plans could only contribute certain key components and there were a few lonely scraps where his options for optimism had only allowed him to notate things like, "Able to get through entire monologue without malfunction" or "Metro Man unable to respond smoothly to my mayonnaise-based pun".

He closed the drawer resolutely, determining that he had done quite enough reminiscing for one day and followed Minion to the kitchen. He would feel much better after he ate and then he would finally be able to shake all these blasted distractions and get some good solid creative thinking done. There was an issue with the containment unit on the Mongoose Mobilizer that he had been mulling over for a while and today seemed like the perfect day to finish it.

* * *

A/N - I am the worst and I am very very sorry about that. I can't believe it has been so long since I updated this story. In my defense, my whole world kinda fell apart for a while there but mostly I just didn't know what I wanted to do with this story now that my original plot died a horrible death. I know this chapter is exposition central but I needed to establish some stuff so that I couldn't keep changing it in my own head. All the reviewers who have left me feedback since I stopped writing are amazing but Ardina Falconhurst gets the credit for finally making me get off my butt and actually write this down. Hopefully I will have more for you all soon. Let me know if you have suggestions for inventions because that is where I struggle and I could use some help.


End file.
